What to Do When Your Partner Has Different Eating Habits

How do you handle it when you and your partner have completely different eating habits? Do you compromise, or do you lay down the law?

This is a question I get all the time, especially from people whose loved ones don’t eat “healthy” by their standards. The reality is, the eating habits of those closest to us can influence our own more than we realize.

We naturally eat differently when we live with others compared to when we live alone. When I was single (and childless), there were no snack foods, sweets or processed foods in my home. Today, there’s always a stash of crackers, chocolate and even ramen in the cupboard. If I followed a strict low-carb diet, this could easily create conflict—but it doesn’t. I even enjoy that ramen from time to time (with veggies, of course).

If you’re reading this, chances are your partner has different eating habits than you. So, how do you navigate that? How do you maintain a healthy diet if your partner doesn’t share the same mindset?

I don’t claim to have all the answers, but after working with many couples and families as a healthy living coach, I can tell you this: You can absolutely thrive together despite your differences. My advice? Accept those differences and let them be. Instead of trying to change your partner’s eating habits, just focus on your own.

People make their own choices. Even with the best intentions, you can’t force someone to eat the way you do. The key is to lead by example and make healthy eating enjoyable. Here’s how to do that while keeping the peace in your home.

Lead by Example and Let It Be

With my plant-based style of cooking and eating, people often ask if my husband (and sons) eat what I eat. The general answer? Yes, but they sometimes go their own way—and that’s okay.

Eating should be a personal and enjoyable experience, not a set of rules dictated by someone else.

Telling someone what to eat is the fastest way to make them resist. Instead, I focus on making healthy food taste amazing. My meals are full of flavor, color and variety. I know I can’t force my family to eat everything I eat, so I meet them where they are. I emphasize the benefits of nutritious foods and expose them to different options. Over time, they’ve tried—and even started loving—many plant-based foods.

That’s leading by example.

Get Your Partner Involved

One of the best ways to find common ground is to involve your partner in meal planning and prep. This could mean:

• Choosing recipes together
• Picking out fresh produce
• Helping with simple tasks like washing and chopping veggies

When people take part in the process, they’re more likely to try new foods and enjoy them.

Even if you follow a vegan diet and your partner is a dedicated meat-eater, there’s always room for compromise. You might share the same side dishes but prepare different proteins. The key is respecting each other’s preferences while participating in the process together. Plus, sharing responsibilities makes meal prep feel less like a solo chore.

Embrace Differences

I’ve been in the health, nutrition and fitness space for over 25 years, but I’ve never lectured my husband about what he should eat. In our 18 years of marriage, I’ve never shamed his choices or tried to change his habits. Instead, I’ve focused on my own eating style while letting him do the same. Over time, we’ve learned to embrace our differences.

For example, my husband loves ice cream and chocolate. I’m not a big sweet eater. I love plant-based proteins like tofu and tempeh, but no matter how well I prepare them, he won’t eat them. And that’s fine! By respecting each other’s choices, we’ve found common ground.

Healthy eating isn’t one-size-fits-all, but there are ways to align your habits without forcing change.

Turns out, we both love salads. Twice a week, I prep a variety of salad ingredients and store them in the fridge. Throughout the week, we build our own salads, each to our own taste. The most important thing? We’re both eating more plant-based foods—even if one of us enjoys sweets in between.

At the end of the day, the goal isn’t to make your partner eat exactly like you. It’s about fostering an environment where healthy eating is enjoyable and accessible for both of you.

Lead with love, respect each other’s choices and find ways to compromise. You might be surprised at how much influence you actually have—without ever saying a word.